


I'd Ship It

by josephina_x



Category: Smallville
Genre: Bets & Wagers, Coffee, Coffee Shops, Fluff, Gen, In-Jokes, Jokes, Old School, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-19
Updated: 2014-09-19
Packaged: 2018-02-18 01:23:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2330108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/josephina_x/pseuds/josephina_x
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chloe ships it. What about you?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'd Ship It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nicnac](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicnac/gifts).



> Title: I'd Ship It  
> Author: [josephina_x](http://josephina-x.livejournal.com)  
> Fandom: Smallville  
> Pairing: Clark + Lex  
> Rating: G  
> Spoilers: general for early seasons  
> Word count: 2500+  
> Summary: Chloe ships it. What about you?  
> Warnings: Un-beta'd.  
> Disclaimer: Not mine, not-for-profit.  
> Comments: Yes, please! :)  
> Author's Note: For [Nicnac](http://nicnac918.livejournal.com)'s birthday, request:
> 
> “I want Chloe (or someone else if you prefer, it just seems like a Chloe thing to say) saying 'I'd ship it.' about Clex. Clark and/or Lex should be involved in this conversation somehow, but all the rest of the context, where it goes from there, how serious she's being, etc., etc. are up to you.”
> 
> \--And no Lexana. Really-truly! Just gonna get that out there up-front and out of the way and everything. *nods* ;) :)
> 
> (Sorry for the horrific delay, by the way. ^_^;; )

~*~*~*~*~*~

"I'd ship it."

Pete turned his head and gave Chloe a look like she was out of her flipping mind.

"What? They're _cute_ together," Chloe protested. "Just look at the two of 'em over there," Chloe said, nodding at the guys in question standing halfway across the Talon, "lost off in their own little world together."

"You're crazy," Pete told her. "That's crazy. You've been sniffing the news ink too much or somethin'."

"Hey Chloe, what's up?" the budding young reporter was asked, and she turned to stare up at her second partner-in-crime.

"Oh, just discussing how gay Whitney and Gary are for each other."

Clark turned to look over at the two first-string football players, huddled over a game plan book at another Talon booth. He shook his head and then smiled down at her. "If you say so."

"I _do!_ " Chloe said with a bright, open grin.

"Crazy," Pete muttered to himself, then took a swig of his coffee.

"Clark," Lex greeted him smoothly, as he all but glided up next to his young farmboy friend in the middle of the aisle of the coffee shop. "What are we staring at?" he asked, as turned his head and followed Clark's and Chloe's gaze. "...Fordman?" he asked, in a carefully-neutral tone of voice that heavily implied, _...what did he do **this** time?_

Clark blushed slightly, and Pete just got a pinched look, so Chloe was the one who answered him. "We are staring at the love which is ordained by the stars," she told him. "And football gods."

"Ah." said Lex, relaxing his posture. He slid his hands in his pockets and tilted his head consideringly, watching the two jocks in question for a long moment. Then he nodded once, decisively, and said, "I'd ship it."

Pete spat coffee halfway across the table booth, then started coughing.

Lex turned and gave Pete a stare that indicated he had no idea why anybody could possibly be surprised by his remark.

Clark snickered and then bit his lip and looked down at Chloe. He poked Chloe in the shoulder.

Chloe, who had been staring at Pete, started slightly at Clark's poke and looked up at him.

Clark tilted his head at her, all bright-eyed with mischievous 'innocence', then purposefully glanced between Lex and Pete.

Chloe frowned slightly, then looked startled again, and then she bit her lip and looked almost put out. She shoved a hand in her pocket, pulled out a rumpled dollar bill, and held it up.

She looked abashed as Clark got a pleased grin and plucked it from her fingers.

Then she looked intrigued as Clark turned around and held it out to Lex, and Lex looked down at it with... no small reservation?

"...Ah," said Lex, staring at it for a moment as though transfixed. He looked up at Clark. "Clark, I wasn't going to hold you to--"

Clark patiently held the bill out farther towards him, and Lex all but winced.

"I really don't want to be taking money from you," Lex said with even more reserve, slipping his hands into his pockets.

"I know," said Clark. "But..." when Clark tried to (still-patiently) push it on him further, having adopted a very waiting sort of look, Lex tensed up and began leaning back and slightly away from it, eyeing it as though it might be catching, or possibly a trap.

"Lex, take it," Clark told him. When Lex still didn't move to do so, Clark added in low and almost-soothing tones, "It's okay, really. You won, and--"

"--Wait, what did he win at?" Chloe asked of them curiously.

Lex glanced behind Clark to Chloe and informed her, "I won a bet." Then Lex got a slight frown and asked in return, "...Why did you give him that dollar?"

Chloe blinked, then said slowly, "I _lost_ a bet." She gave Clark a strange look.

"--Okay, no!" Pete blurted out, and the rest of them turned to look at him. "Just no! See this? This right here? _This_ is why Clark isn't allowed to make bets!" he informed them all huffily. "He does it all wrong!"

Chloe and Lex both glanced over at Pete for a moment, then looked back at each other.

"I made a bet with him that you wouldn't say anything to Pete today that would have him spitting his drink halfway across the room, but not have him angry at you for it," Chloe offered. "What bet did you make?" Chloe asked him.

"Actually, Clark made the bet," Lex said. He glanced up at Clark. "He bet me that I couldn't repeat something you said and have Pete react more surprised to me saying it second than he did to you saying it first."

They stared each other down for another long second or two, then turned as one towards Clark.

Clark had a very innocent smile going, that also somehow managed to be a little smug.

"You are not supposed to win a bet and lose a bet right away, on _purpose!_ " Pete declared, obviously still none-too-happy with Clark's behavior.

"How did you know you were repeating something I said?" Chloe asked Lex.

"I've been here longer than you have, and the sound of your voice travels farther than you might think," Lex informed her with a smirk, as he glanced up and over at the table across the Talon at the two jocks, who shifted in place and turned away from them a bit.

Chloe colored a little bit.

"Oh, don't worry about it too much," Lex told her smoothly. "They're cute together."

Pete, who was taking a sip at the time, sprayed his mouthful across the table again.

Clark looked down at Chloe.

Chloe, who looked to be stifling giggles, rummaged around in her purse for a bit and then held up _two_ one-dollar bills to Clark.

Clark took them and added them to the single dollar he was already holding out for Lex.

Lex eyed the growing number of dollars with even more trepidation than before.

Pete, after finally getting ahold of himself again, choked out, "You... you did _double-or-nothing?_ "

Lex shot Pete a look that held a great deal of annoyance with him. "I was _trying_ to get Chloe her money back!"

Chloe started to giggle.

"No more bets with Clark!" Pete declared. "--And all previous running bets are no longer active," he added quickly. "Okay?!"

Clark sighed. " _Fine_ ," he said stoically, not quite pouting.

Lex glanced up at him, then eyed the three dollars with a thinking look.

Then he looked up. "Clark," he asked, "I believe you said that the 'no backsies' ruled applied to the bettors, correct?"

"Yes," said Clark.

"But I didn't make any bets with Chloe," Lex noted.

"That's true," said Clark.

"So, if I decided to take these dollars and give them to Chloe, that would not be violating the rule, per se," Lex put forth.

"No, it wouldn't," Clark agreed easily enough.

Lex shifted his weight slightly, eyeing the dollar bills. He pulled his left hand out of his pocket and started to reach for them.

Chloe, who had been glancing between the two of them all during their verbal exchange, piped up and said, "Oh, I don't know about that."

Lex's hand paused in mid-air.

"...No?" he said, looking down at her.

"No," Chloe said, sitting back and tapping her lips with a finger musedly. "I mean," she glanced up at him, "I'm not so sure I should be taking money from a Luthor. You already pay my dad's salary at the plant. And it's not like I'd be doing anything for you worth the three dollars. What would people think?"

"But--" Lex began.

"Nope! Sorry," Chloe told him sorrowfully, shaking her head.

Lex's shoulders dropped. He looked quite put out.

Chloe turned away, back to her own drink, and rested her head on a fist, keeping her head down a bit so nobody could see her lips twitching upwards at the corners.

...Well, nobody except for Pete, who gave her a 'what are you doing?!' look like she was nuts.

Chloe, with twinkling eyes, did a 'look over there' movement with her eyes to him, as she raised her coffee cup to her lips.

Lex had his mouth open, like he was going to protest to somebody. 

He glanced up at Clark, and did something like a double-take, before his expression morphed into something approaching outright alarm.

He pulled back his arm lightning fast--

\--but Clark was faster. Clark snagged his wrist with one hand, slapped the dollars into his palm, and closed Lex's fingers around them with the other.

Lex struggled a bit with Clark, but it was far too late for any such thing. Clark was just holding his hand in place by that point, keeping him from opening his fist.

Lex was glancing between Clark and his captured hand, until he finally stopped struggling and gave Clark an almost-pleading look.

Clark looked back at him stoically.

He slowly let go of Lex's hand, holding his gaze.

Lex stood still for a moment. He looked down at his hand, then looked up at Clark again and held out the hand with the dollar bills in it to him.

Clark stood where he was, smiled, and with calm deliberation moved both hands behind his back and held them there.

Lex, looking frustrated now, thrust the bills at him again.

Clark stood there and definitively shook his head once, no.

Lex's shoulders slumped slightly. He stared forlornly down at his hand holding the crumpled bills, almost as though defeated.

"So," Chloe put out there, "are you guys gonna get yourselves some drinks and sit down anytime soon?"

Lex glanced over at her.

"Sure," said Clark, smiling again.

Lex frowned at her slightly, then looked at her coffee cup. His countenance brightened. "Chloe, would you like me to get you something--"

"No, thank you!" Chloe said brightly, which left Lex looking stumped again. "Besides, I'm not so sure that that's really 'mine' to be giving back to me, anyway," she added, nodding at his fistful of dollar bills.

Lex looked at her in confusion, while Pete looked across the table at her, flabbergasted. "Oh, are you _kidding_ me?!" Pete said.

"...What?" Lex asked, glancing between the two of them.

"Oh," Chloe said, casually swirling her drink in her cup with a stirring stick. "It's nothing, really. I just happened to win three different bets from Clark earlier today."

Lex's eyebrows went up, while Clark continued to stand where he was, looking at them innocently-enough, as though all was right in the world.

"You are not allowed to make any more bets!" Pete said, leveling a glare at Clark. " **No betting!** "

Clark crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "I just _said_ 'fine', didn't I?"

"I mean it," Pete said.

" _Fine_ ," Clark repeated.

Pete sat back in his booth, eyeing Clark like he wasn't sure whether to believe him or not.

Lex glanced up at Clark questioningly. "But I usually buy your coffee for you, don't I?" he asked.

Clark looked down at him and smiled. "Yes," he agreed. "You usually buy me coffee with your own money."

Lex blinked at him. Then he got a frown. He blinked at him again. His frown deepened.

He told Clark rather authoritatively, "I'm buying you coffee today."

"Okay!" Clark said brightly, smiling down at him.

Lex gave him a sideways-frowning look, then seemed to come to an internal decision. He straightened, grabbed Clark by the wrist, and marched towards the coffee bar counter, Clark in tow. Clark seemed perfectly happy with this arrangement, gamely following along behind him.

Chloe snickered into her coffee.

"What the ever-loving..." Pete said under his breath, watching them go.

Chloe looked up at him, then got a wide grin.

"I'd ship it," she said, as she cupped her hands around her coffee cup and raised it to her lips. Her eyes sparkled over the rim.

Pete blinked at her, then got an 'ew, _gross!_ ' look.

"That's so not funny," Pete told her.

They bickered back and forth on this point for several minutes, long enough that they were still going at it when Clark and Lex returned.

"Are you disagreeing about where you would like to ship them?" Lex asked, "Or the idea of it at all? Personally, I'd settle for sending Fordman to Antarctica. I hear it's awful this time of year," he added mildly, as he slid down onto the booth seat next to Chloe, while Clark sat down next to Pete.

Chloe and Pete both turned to look at him.

"...Am I mixing my metaphors?" Lex said, at the looks they were giving him. "Should I be referring to the Titanic as a good idea, instead?"

"Luthor, that is the wrong type of shipping," Pete told him blandly, staring.

"And we weren't talking about Whitney," Chloe said, holding down giggles. "We were talking about you and Clark."

Lex eyed her sideways, as he continued to hold onto his coffee cup while he pulled out a few paper napkins from his back pocket and threw them onto the table -- his contribution to helping clean up the two fine sprays of coffee Pete had made across the table with his 'help'.

"I could understand why the 'football gods' might be interested in Clark," Lex put out there, as Pete grabbed up some napkins and started mopping up the 'spill'. He glowered a bit less when Clark began to help him. "But why would they be interested in me?" Lex asked, sitting back and taking a sip of his own, newly-acquired coffee.

Chloe's smile got a little wider, and a little more smug. "You really have no idea what we're talking about, do you?"

Lex frowned at her slightly, then turned his head to look at Clark. Clark shrugged at him good-naturedly.

"I don't suppose you'd mind explaining, then?" Lex asked her.

Chloe grinned at him. "Actually, I kind of think it's funnier this way."

Lex gave her a long look.

"You repeated something when you had no idea what she said?" Pete muttered under his breath, as he shoved the used napkins into a pile off to the side of the table.

"...So!" Clark said loudly, cutting in. "Pete! How's stuff with the Crows going?"

With that, Clark pretty much effectively shifted the conversation away from the original topic without fuss.

Lex sat back and listened with half-an-ear, while he pulled pulled out his phone with his unoccupied hand and started typing into it one-handed.

His eyebrows tilted a bit as his eyes flicked back and forth as he read. He stopped reading and went expressionless.

Lex smoothly, surreptitiously closed his phone and slid it back into his coat pocket.

He took another sip of his coffee, sat back, and listened to Clark and his friends -- his friends, mostly -- bicker over the chosen starting line of the high school football team, and the merits -- or lack, thereof -- of the currently-benched players, and their opinions on the subject of the sport and its popularity with the masses in general...

He didn't contribute much of anything to the discussion.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**Author's Note:**

> AN2: alternate title: "Clark Kent, Master Manipulator" ;)
> 
> AN3: Admittedly, I flashed on Edna Mode when Pete started going all, "No bets! No bets!" ^_^;; (...Because, granted, Pete is usually pretty easygoing about Clark's weirdness canonically, but I figure there had to be a reason that the dollar-bet thing was something only Chloe and Pete ever did together ;)


End file.
